how much it hurts to wake up in an empty bed after you had left.
how much i did love you even though you didn't seem to love me back.
and i was watching all the things i wanted to give you as a gift
when you would come back
and it was the only thing which actually made me happy
and i felt pathetic and weak
having all these people and all this luck surrounding me
and choosing you instead
and looking at the cold pillow that i left here as a sign
that you would come
and sleep on it
just in front of me
and that would have been
the more intense
and amazing night
i would have ever known
and that's what i thought of
when i loved you.
